Spark

When I came up with this idea back in March I was mostly confident I could pull it off (,mostly), but honestly I wasn’t sure what would come of it.  Would I get a couple proposals and be forced to cancel or just take a road trip with lots of gay bars involved?  Would I find someone on the very first date who would make me swoon and think of nothing else but him for the next 29 days?  Would I be stood up on more dates than not and consider the project a failure?  There were so many possibilities, and the one that actually ended up coming into reality never even registered on my radar at the time.
I met for the very first time 31 extraordinary and unique individuals from every possible walk of life from 20 to 46.  Only one individual stood me up (we’re still not quite sure why) which I think is a wonderful testament to how seriously everyone took what I was trying to accomplish:  To show that gay dating wasn’t dead (not even on life support)… To help people trust in the idea of a “blind” encounter without being terrified about looks and physicality… To help folks, including myself, think outside the box when it comes to love and realtionships… and maybe to find the Spark.

The Spark:  I would define the spark as the almost instantaneous subconscious assurance that the man/woman in question fits that special place in your heart.  It’s nothing you can earn, adapt to, gain, or work towards.  It’s either there or it isn’t.  Love and Lust at first sight it is not… (More than one person has asked me if I’ve found Love at First Sight… and I said this:  “I haven’t yet, but I have a very good feeling I will soon.”).  Those are about the physical as they touch your heart… The Spark is more than that as it encompasses all facets of a person.  I’ve had this “feeling” three times before this trip after the first full interaction with a potential dating partner, and I can assure you it’s an amazing feeling:  intoxicating, hopeful, insane, and magical.  A lot of people know what I’m taking about (I’m saying that as to not appear to be a complete loon-bird).

On this trip I did feel The Spark, and with that feeling I ended up shifting to Plan B (Spark Plan):  follow your heart.  So that’s what I’ve done since…  I still don’t know where the Spark is going to take me, or if in one month, two, three, a year I’ll be ready to permanently give vows to that person for the rest of my life (but if I were a betting man in Vegas…).  I realize my life has been an open book up until this point, and as I close this blog and begin a new journey (and new blog) I want to thank everyone who participated with me along the way.  I also realize that I’m not exactly forthcoming with many details about who is the lucky new man in my life, but that is so we can take things one day at a time for ourselves.  It was never a foregone conclusion that I was going to find someone to love on this adventure.  You can date 10, 50, 100 people and never find love or the spark… or you can find it in the very first person who touches your heart.  It’s never a numbers game, and thirty was just a number.  The individuals who were kind enough, gracious enough, and adventurous enough to take a leap and go out with me in each city are not simply numbers (they were only entered into my phone that way for the purposes of logical organization), they’re wonderful people and hopefully all 31 of them will stay my friends.

If you’re reading this and you’re interested in the take-away message I’d say this:  Take chances in life but don’t be upset if they fail, push the worries of the physical further back in your mind when meeting new people, be happy with yourself being single before letting yourself out to date, and after you’ve taken a few chances… take a LOT more.  If you find happiness… don’t let people tell you how you’re feeling.  Your feelings are yours, and no one gets to tell you otherwise.  I thank everyone for sharing his journey with me, it’s been an absolute pleasure.  -The End

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2 Responses to Spark

  1. Corey says:

    Keeping up with this adventure was a great experience. I was inspired by this, and the risks that you took. I want to thank you for giving the rest of us out here that there are amazing guys out there (hopefully more than just 31!)

    You’ve been a great person, the few times we’ve chatted I could tell you were a genuine person, dedicated to living every moment in life to its fullest.. So, thanks Kevin. and I look forward to hearing more about how the rest unfolds :)

  2. Dean Grey says:

    This gives me hope, Kevin!

    A lot of the time it feels next to impossible to meet someone genuinely interested in love in the gay community.

    But it seems like you found just that!

    Hooray!

    Thanks for sharing your adventure with us. I’ll heed your advice and try taking more chances!

    -Dean

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